My name is Jefferson. My parents immigrated here when I was little, so I’ve always felt like I was different, even before I came out. When I told my parents I was gay, that meant they and my community had no room for me. I had to move out and work around the clock to support myself – which meant I had very little social time and very few friends.
When I do have time to myself, I go to the bar to hang out. There are a few regulars I know, and sometimes they ask me about my name. It seems a bit different to them. I think sometimes people don’t find me very attractive.
One guy I met online seemed interested, so we met at a local coffee shop. He wasn’t at all like his picture online, but he was nice enough to buy me a coffee.
He really saw himself as better than most of the men he came across. He wanted me to come over to his place right away. So I thought, hey, why not? I have nothing better to do.
Once we were there, he said he really was horny. Things got heavy pretty quickly. I wanted to have sex, but I wasn’t really attracted to him. We didn’t talk much about what we wanted to do; we just did it. I didn’t ask about condoms, and we didn’t use one.
After the sex, he said he was busy and really wanted me to go, so I did. The whole situation made me feel like crap, but I know this is just part of the terrain of meeting new guys. I’d rather keep trying than be alone.
- If Jefferson is having sex to fill a void in his life, he can think about other ways of doing that like meeting people in other places like social clubs.
- If Jefferson is depressed, he can try being more physically active through exercise. It can help improve his mood.
- Jefferson might find it useful to talk to a counsellor, friend, or another trusted person to find out more about what he wants out of life and sex.